2. Before you share intimate details of your life with someone, you should learn if you can trust them or not. Oversharing is a way to try to rush intimacy with someone you feel like you "should" be close with. Sarah Barkley is a lifestyle blogger and freelance writer with a Bachelor’s Degree in Literature from Baker College. Even worse, however, is when everyone on your social media friends list knows the details. Meet the leadership that's passionate about empowering your workforce. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Rather, knowing this may help you understand it to be temporary, which may help you be more comfortable. Not everyone needs to know the details of your life. While some of your friends might love it, most will not, and strangers will find it awkward. The same goes for other parts of their lives, as well, and they may not want them shared at all. Eigentlich nett: Sie signalisieren so, dass Sie gerade dabei sind, zu viele Informationen über sich zu erzählen. You’re chatting with a small group and find yourself talking about a recent fight with your parents, causing the conversation to fizzle. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. People who struggle to identify others’ boundaries may disrespect them unintentionally by sharing stories or struggles they don’t feel awkward talking about. war 6 Jahre Redakteurin der Karrierebibel und widmete sich vor allem den Themen rund ums Büro, Joballtag und Studium. Oversharing Synonyme sind: übertriebene Mitteilsamkeit, Gesprächigkeit, Redseligkeit oder kurz: Mitteilungsbedürfnis. Should you wear blue jeans or slacks to work today? Remember, people can’t read your mind. Many people often confuse authenticity with oversharing, and there is a very fine line between the 2 things. Vor allem das Internet verführt zum Oversharing. What Kind of Woman Will You Marry According to Your Zodiac Sign? In order to stop oversharing, you need to understand your beliefs about socializing and what you want from different social experiences. Hope is double-edged, false hope can set you on a collision course with despair. We may earn commission from the links on this page. Friends oversharing can also be problematic when it “compromises the privacy of a third person,” says Dr. Levine. Evaluate each situation carefully to decide what's most important. Do you want a blueberry muffin or bran? If you can’t decide without someone else weighing in, you probably share too much. Evaluating your response keeps you from rambling. Posted December 2, 2019 Even if that's the case, though, it's not meant to serve as permission for oversharing. For more information see our. Auch Kriminelle könnten die öffentlichen Informationen nutzen, Rückschlüsse auf Wohnort, Vermögensverhältnisse oder Reisepläne ziehen. Remember that no one’s immune to slip-ups. Before having any discussion, check in with yourself to first determine what you want to talk about with your friend, and what you’d rather they keep to themselves. If you constantly share information with a friend about your newborn baby, this may seem fine to you. Beverly, 30, is a self-proclaimed oversharer, telling Mic that she routinely shares intimate details of her. It might help to make a list. Or your uncle shares a very personal story about abuse, and it triggers your own painful memories. freunden. Be straightforward. "Or, are you craving deeper conversations rather than small talk, which leads you to overshare?". Maintaining relationships with those around us — even those we don’t know well — can be challenging, and we’re all bound to overshare from time to time. In einer reizüberfluteten Gesellschaft sind es viele Menschen nicht mehr gewohnt, Stille auszuhalten. If you’re concerned you may cross the line, here are some ways to check yourself: For some people, silence triggers oversharing. First, decide what your boundaries are. Acknowledging, setting, and protecting yours is a kind of self-care. Wer eher aus Unsicherheit anderen gegenüber viel plappert, sollte sich seiner Qualitäten stärker bewusst werden. Can We Compare Well-Being Across Species? See how innovative companies use BetterUp to build a thriving workforce. The term is commonly used in the context of online announcements (e.g., overly personal comments on Facebook, explicit photographs), but it can also apply to phone conversations and face-to-face encounters. Too much information! Posted December 2, 2019 And in truth, as their parents, neither can we By Instead, make it on your own and go about your day. There are some personal facts others may not need or . The hardest part is noticing the pattern of behavior and having the courage and confidence to admit you need to change. Boundaries are the invisible lines that draw our self-identity. Beverly, 30, is a self-proclaimed oversharer, telling Mic that she routinely shares intimate details of her first dates with friends — even, and especially, the cringe-y moments that many people might normally avoid revealing. Das Phänomen ist weit verbreitet: Zahlreiche Menschen offenbaren sich, wo sie besser schweigen sollten. Do you find silence so uncomfortable that you say the first thing that pops into your head to keep the conversation going? I feel like I struggle with compulsive oversharing. As the time goes on, everyone swapping stories and drinking their drinks, I feel to need to overshare swell up in my throat and bam! Was noch in Ordnung und was bereits zu viel des Guten ist, ist oftmals Definitionssache. Passive-aggressiveness is often associated with a posture of helplessness, victimhood, and self-absorption. Pengertian oversharing Ilustrasi media sosial (pexels.com/picjumbo.com) Pada dasarnya seseorang yang terlalu banyak mengumbar informasi hingga detail-detail yang tak pantas bisa disebut dengan oversharing. Title the first column "Significant Other," the . What is it about situations like these that make us feel so uncomfortable? hbspt.cta._relativeUrls=true;hbspt.cta.load(9253440, 'a52938a5-33a2-4c2f-ab2c-09c1b99b0df4', {"useNewLoader":"true","region":"na1"}); Oversharing is often an accident, meaning we didn’t do it with the intention of making someone uncomfortable. But moving too fast and delving into deep admissions or secrets can make the person we’re talking to uncomfortable. Wer nur wenige Freunde und soziale Kontakte hat, sucht sich anderweitig Gesprächspartner. Our boundaries depend on our relationships. Those are details you should keep to yourself. Find the right tips for you on how to work smart, not harder, and watch your productivity soar. The closeness we feel in relationships is built by sharing parts of ourselves with others. That is, the closer two people are, the more likely they are to push the boundaries on what constitutes oversharing. Something might make you smile or feel a twinge of jealousy, but it’s all pretty harmless, anodyne stuff. It might help to make a list. “If a tweet doesn’t have an audience, is it still a tweet? What we’re comfortable sharing with our significant other is different than what we’re comfortable sharing with our parents. “You can say, ‘That sounds exciting, but I have some projects I need to focus on finishing up,’ or “That sounds exciting, but I’m most comfortable keeping things professional/by keeping our personal lives and work lives separate; I hope you understand.’”. If you're going to sit with someone, face-to-face, you want honesty. As this behavior can be dangerous — older people might accidentally reveal private info to strangers looking to take advantage — this finding is essential in helping "design targeted training that helps older adults improve these skills and avoid embarrassing and potential risky communicative errors,” said lead researcher Madeleine Long, of the University of Edinburgh’s School of Philosophy, Psychology and Language Sciences. Developing a new relationship is stressful. “Much of what determines ‘what is oversharing’ and ‘what is healthy self-disclosure’ is likely in the eyes of the person who is on the receiving end of what’s being shared,” says Dr. Brown. How can we set boundaries in the age of oversharing? These are common oversharing triggers. Since a friend’s oversharing may very well be coming from a vulnerable place, upon deciding to share your boundaries, “you want to be very delicate,” in your delivery, says Dr. Franco. Sometimes oversharing can push your friends away because they’re worried about what you will post on social media. Weniger geeignet sind gesellschaftliche Reizthemen wie Religion oder Politik. Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. “I do so in an effort to inspire and help others, without any fear or judgment,” she explains. So will die erwidernde Person vermeiden, dass der Oversharer sich unwohl fühlt. Die Gefahr des Oversharing besteht schlieÃlich nicht nur in der potenziellen Peinlichkeit. Hier gilt dann der Spruch „Das Internet vergisst nicht". You struggle to make decisions without input from your social circle because, without it, you’re overthinking and trapped in analysis paralysis or struggling with decision fatigue. March 11, 2022 Photo: Getty Images / 10'000 Hours I f a complete stranger comes up to you and starts talking about their bowel movements, it's pretty clear that they're oversharing. Or your friend posts a video of their homebirth replete with close-ups and then asks you to watch it. Like me, you probably believe that socializing should be extremely open and fun and honest, no matter what. Friends who don’t have children or aren’t married may not always enjoy hearing your parenting or marriage stories. Discover how BetterUp measurably impacts key business outcomes for organizations like yours. We should feel confident living as ourselves, maintaining our values, and sharing who we are or how we feel. Some people want to skip over the awkward getting-to-know-you phase by sharing personal details in hopes of taking the relationship to the next level. You don't have to dive in immediately with an answer when someone asks you a personal question. Expecting this one-sided communication from those closest to you may be because you’re feeling overwhelmed or lonely, but it’s ultimately unfair to their needs. Once the oversharing starts, I feel like I am obligated to listen to the whole story The boundaries for what counts as the "whole story" seem to infinitely expand outward Once their story starts building momentum, I feel powerless to stop it from continuing (I feel like my attempts to steer the conversation are too weak, or go unheard) . You Overshare with People You Just Met. I decided to speak about this topic because of the many responses I got to a social media post I recently put up: "Over-explaining is a common trauma response for those who were often made to feel at fault as a child. Also, please pay attention to how much you know about them compared to how much they know about you. Discover ways to boost your brain’s power to focus and recall. People mistakenly respond to this time spent together by treating their stylist as a close friend and disclosing personal details of their lives. Ertappen Sie sich hin und wieder dabei, Wildfremden unangemessen private Informationen zu geben, spricht das für wenig persönliche Kontakte. Social media is probably the place it’s easiest to overshare stories and information. Δdocument.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site is not intended to provide, and does not constitute, medical, health, legal, financial or other professional advice. My mouth is open and I've lost all control over past sexual . Hier kommt in einigen Fällen interkulturelle Kompetenz ins Spiel. Oversharing can be a trauma response. This might lead us to share even more private information in the hopes that someone will eventually react the way we’re hoping for. Feeling uncomfortable when someone overshares doesn’t make you an uncaring person. Noch mehr kostenlose News und Impuls für deinen Erfolg. There's a difference between venting and trauma dumping. Secondly, if you tell your family and friends every time you are annoyed or mad, they may negatively begin viewing your partner. Using social media as an outlet for your deepest feelings is often unproductive and can make acquaintances, coworkers, and other people in your circles feel uncomfortable. Plus, it can make your co-workers uncomfortable. For example, you might put “sex life” under things you’re not comfortable talking about with your family and strangers, or “childhood trauma” under all four categories. You were scrolling through your phone, passing time waiting in the checkout line at the supermarket, and now a wave of emotions crashes over you. Developing greater emotional intelligence can change your life for the better. This might be why you tell your coworkers random facts about you — spending all that time together can create an illusion of closeness. Trust is feeling confident that your needs will be met in a relationship. But discovering how to read the room and identifying the triggers that lead you to too many details will help curb this behavior. The latest insights and ideas for building a high-performing workplace. Was, wenn Sie selbst bei sich Oversharing beobachten? “In these cases, they may not have an ability to ‘read’ their audience; typically, they do not have a good sense of boundaries.”, If someone comes from a family of “talkers” where oversharing is the norm, they may echo this behavior in their day-to-day life, Dr. Brown adds. If you share these details before establishing trust, you are likely oversharing. Know when your hopes are well-founded and how to turn your deep desires into results. Zumal einige Menschen so sensibel, dass sie schon aus gesundem Selbstschutz auf die Bremse treten. When pain . Passive-aggressiveness is often associated with a posture of helplessness, victimhood, and self-absorption. In fact. Get a sheet of paper and draw three vertical lines to form four columns. Our desire to be known can often prompt us to share vulnerably. Often, oversharing is an unconscious act — "many times," says Cole, people "don’t realize it until after the fact” that they've just spilled major details about their personal lives. Don’t worry: if you take the time to. Curbing your tendency to overshare doesn’t mean you’re hiding away pieces of your life. If you're uncomfortable with a coworker sitting at the desk right next to yours giving you a play-by-play of her drunken adventures the previous night, what are you supposed to do? Let me think on that a bit.”. One of the most important is the feeling of being alone and the need to connect with others. research has shown that the older we get, the more we overshare, Done safely, it can sometimes lead to much-needed validation or a caring community that understands your challenges. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Likewise, posting information about personal feuds could cause you to lose that relationship forever. Kamus Merriam-Webster mendefinisikan oversharing adalah untuk berbagi atau mengungkapkan terlalu banyak informasi. And it feels terrible. Das Beste dabei: Wer versehentlich zu private oder pikante Geschichten erzählt, muss keine Bange haben â die Wahrscheinlichkeit ist gering, sich jemals wieder zu begegnen. Having boundaries doesn’t make you uptight. For example, if you’re taking a leave of absence from work, your coworkers likely don’t need to know the details. Plus, if you constantly bombard them with your problems, it can cause negativity they won’t want to experience every time. Sometimes, we’re inappropriate without meaning to be. Oversharing traumatic or difficult experiences on others in a repeated or unsolicited way can push them away. According to ScienceDaily, researchers from The University of Edinburgh and Northwestern University in Illinois found that the risk of oversharing in conversation actually increases as people age. In social settings, chronic oversharing can alienate us from people uncomfortable with our level of candor. pedalikwac • 1 yr. ago Intimate conversations and friendships are fine. Evaluating your response keeps you from rambling. How do I stop oversharing on social media or when I'm feeling nervous?" This article will dive into what causes oversharing and what you can do if you struggle with this issue. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Second, talk about your boundaries with the people whom you expect to respect them. If your friends worry that you’ll post unflattering pictures or share their location, they may not invite you places anymore. Are you nervous when you meet new people? Here are some suggestions to help you keep from oversharing: Remember that a great conversation requires to give and take. Social Media ermöglicht es, alles im Leben mit allen zu teilen. Something might make you smile or feel a twinge of jealousy, but it’s all pretty harmless, anodyne stuff. Second, talk about your boundaries with the people whom you expect to respect them. negative comments about your job or employer, details of a feud with a friend or family member, information about your romantic relationship. You’ll see updates about careers and relationships. Hope is double-edged, false hope can set you on a collision course with despair. Karen Gross, Author; Educational Commentator, Senior Counsel, Finn Partners. Let me think on that a bit.”, This technique is called active listening, For example, if you’re taking a leave of absence from work, your coworkers likely don’t need to know the details. Suddenly, your friend feels put-out because they think you’re keeping secrets from them, or they think your lack of openness is a sign that you’re judging them. Focus on what others are saying and the questions they ask of you. If you don’t like the idea of revealing your life to total strangers, make your accounts private and set restrictions on who can see which posts going forward. Then, limit the sharing to a time when you are together off the clock. The more you understand the reasons for oversharing and when it's appropriate, the more you can modify your own behavior — or learn to deal with those around you doing it 24/7. At one point, the . She enjoys the research that goes into a strong article, and no topic is off-limits to Sarah. Recent data suggests physical attractiveness exceeds warmth, intelligence, and income in women's preferences. You look like someone who loves free workouts, discounts for cutting-edge wellness brands, and exclusive Well+Good content.